Parenting Tips from The Little Nonya

The biggest hit of the year Little Nonya took Singapore by storm, and the show promised to be a classic detailing the culture and traditions of the Nonyas and the Babas. For a metropolitan country like Singapore, who is shedding her layers of culture and traditions under the name of development, the story holds many parenting tips for us.

Firstly, both the characters - Juxiang and Yueniang, who were victimized by the step-sisters and step mother, obviously captured the attention of the Chen-Xi’s Ah Chou (grandmother) because of their excellent culinary skills as well as fine beadwork. The young daughters of the rich family were obviously on the losing end despite having studies overseas. This leads to an interesting question that a parent may wonder: What skill sets would I like my child, specifically girls, to acquire?

Girls in the 21st century Singapore have similar opportunities as guys to go to school and climb the corporate ladder. The role of the ladies is no longer delegated to the kitchen and the family. Parents in Singapore do think that it is as important for girls as it is for boys to study hard and get good results. Most parents enrolled their children in swimming and piano lessons, rather than getting them to help out with the household chores since there is always the maid. Should children learn and help out with the household chores?

Household chores have been delegated to the maid to do the cleaning and the washing. Many maids in Singapore are able to whip up a good meal compared to the young girls and at times the wives. As a result, many traditional recipes, culinary skills as well as culture are not passed down to the daughters or daughter-in-laws but to the maids. With her culinary skills, Yueniang went on to open a Nonya restaurant. Just as some maids have who returned to their homeland to run their own restaurants. Is it important for children to learn their traditional cultures including their language and to cook their tradinal dishes?

Secondly, Meiyu was the sweetest girl among the three sisters of their generation. She was not born spiteful and was never in favour of her sisters bullying Juxiang. Though she was angry with Juxiang for gaining her husband’s heart, it never crossed her mind to murder Juxiang. Meiyu became more unscrupulous only after her mother forced her to throw Juxiang overboard. She attempted to kill again when she stopped Zhenzhu from rescuing Yueniang. For someone who was angry with her mother for forcing her to lie about her own handiwork, she also advised Zhenzhu to do the same subsequently. What has caused her to change her value system?

Similarly, though Zhenzhu was spoilt, she did realise that it was wrong to leave Yueniang in the well and did attempt to rescue her. She could have rescued her own sister from being raped but held back when she remembered her aunt’s words. She took credit for the dishes that she didn’t cook without any guilt. She suffered the consequences of her own decisions when her deeds were discovered. Weren’t Meiyu and Zhenzhu victims of a value system that was clearly passed down from their grandmother Tuaji? (acted by Lin Mei Jiao)

Have we been angry with our children for being rude towards us and shouting at us? Are we angry with our kids for being disorganized and not motivated? Have we consciously or subconsciously being inculcating values in our children that we might regret later as well?Are we also giving out children undue pressure that may make them make the wrong decision. The parent and child relationship is unique. The child always looks up to everything that the parents do. Hence the children are the best mirrors of our selves, and of the people they hang out with. They are like a huge sponge that soaked up everything they see around them. Their value system is simple. The action has to be right if everyone, especially if my parents are doing the same thing.